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Jika anda adalah muslim ,

jangan bilang " mosque " tapi sebutlah " MASJID " karena
organisasi islam menamakan bahwa "mosque" = mosquitos = nyamuk.

jangan tulis " mecca " tapi tulis lah " MAKKAH " karena
"mecca" = bir/rumah anggur.

jangan tulis " mohd " tapi tulis lah " MUHAMMAD " karena
"mohd" = anjing bermulut besar.

jangan tulis "4JJI" tapi tulislah " ALLAH SWT " karena
"4JJI" = for judas jesus isa almasih.

jangan tulis "Ass" tapi tulislah " ASSLM " karena
"Ass" = pantat.

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tolong sebarkan kepada muslim lain semampumu , hingga mereka yang tidak tahu
menjadi tahu ....

The Silent Treatment

The Silent Treatment


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AMfor an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at5:00 AM" He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.





WIFE VS. HUSBAND


A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws





WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

and still be afraid of a spider.



W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"



CREATION

A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be

so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!



WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible

that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament

and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ ."HEBREWS"



God may have created man before woman,

but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT !

Cotton Buds Murah Terbua dari dr Kapas Bekas..???

Sekilas INFO
" Tolong jangan tunjukkan simpati dengan orang yang menjual korek kuping (cotton buds) di pinggir jalan atau di lampu lalu lintas...

Hanya ingin mengingatkan anda untuk tidak membeli sebungkus korek kuping yang dibeli dari pinggir jalan.

Korek kuping itu terbuat dari kapas yang telah dipakai dirumahsakit. Mereka memisahkan semua yang kotor, darah, dan lainnya mencucinya kemudian di bleaching dengan pemutih kemudian dibuatlah korek kuping.

Jadi, jika anda tidak ingin menjadi orang pertama yang menderita Herpes Zoster Octicus (infeksi virus telinga
bagian dalam, tengah, dan luar) maka JANGAN BELI KOREK KUPING DI PINGGIR JALAN. Infokan teman anda, jika anda peduli... ">

Pesan Mimpi dari Masjid Nabawi - Arabia.

BERITA DARI MASJID NABAWI.....
BERITA PENTING..... .
BERITA UNTUK UMMAT ISLAM DISELURUH DUNIA.

SURAT INI DATANGNYA DARI SYECKH ACHMAD DI SAUDI ARABIA :
AKU BERSUMPAH DENGAN NAMA ALLAH SWT DAN NABI MUHAMMAD SAW'
WASIAT UNTUK SELURUH UMMAT ISLAM DARI SYECKH ACHMAD
SEORANG PENJAGA MAKAM RASULULLAH DI MADINAH,
YAITU DI MESJID NABAWI SAUDI ARABIA.

'Pada malam tatkala hamba membaca Al'Quran di makam Rasulullah,
dan Hamba sampai tertidur, lalu hamba bermimpi.
Didalam mimpi hamba bertemu dengan Rasulullah SAW, dan beliau berkata, 'didalam 60.000> orang yangmeninggal dunia, diantara bilangan itu tidak ada seorangpun yang matiberiman, dikarenakan:
1. Seorang istri tidak lagi mendengar kata-kata suaminya
2. Orang yang kaya yang mampu, tidak lagi melambangkan atau menimbangkan rasa belas kasih kepada orang-orang miskin
3. Sudah banyak yang tidak berzakat, tidak berpuasa, tidak sholat dan tidak menunaikan ibadah haji, padahal mereka-mereka ini mampu melaksanakan.
4. Oleh sebab itu wahai Syechk Achmad engkau sabdakan kepada semua ummat manusia di dunia supaya berbuat kebajikan dan menyembah kepada Allah SWT.'

Demikian pesan Rasulullah kepada hamba.
Maka berdasarkan pesan Rasulullah tersebut dan oleh karenanya hamba berpesan kepada segenap Ummat Islam di dunia - Bersalawatlah kepada Nabi Besar kita Muhammad SAW.

Janganlah bermalas-malasan untuk mengerjakan sholat 5 waktu.

- Bershadaqoh dan berzakatlah dengan segera,
santuni anak anak yatim piatu
Berpuasalah di bulan ramadhan serta kalau mampu tunaikan segera ibadah haji

PERHATIAN Bagi siapa saja yang membaca suratini hendaklah menyalin/mengcopynya
untuk disampaikan orang-orang lain yang beriman kepada hari penghabisan/ kiamat

Hari kiamat akan segera tiba dan batu bintang akan terbit,> > Al'Quran akan> > hilang dan matahari akan dekat diatas kepala, saat itulah> > manusia akan panik.> > Itulah akibat dari kelakuan mereka yang selalu menuruti> > hawa nafsu dalam jiwa.

Daun Bunga Lily, Rumah Terapung Masa Depan.

Daun Bunga Lily, rumah terapung masa depan

Apa ini? Kok kaya UFO yang mendarat di pantai ya?

Arsitek dari Belgia, Vincent Callebaut, mengajukan terobossan baru dalam menghadapi masalah perubahan iklim dan kepadatan, solusinya dinamai: Daun Bunga Lili.

Daun Bunga Lili ini digambarkan sebagai: prototipe kota amfibi yang mampu menghidupi diri sendiri, dengan masing2 daun mampu menampung 50.000 orang.

Di tengah Daun ini ada sebuah danau yang menampung dan menjernihkan air hujan. Kita terapung ini tidak membutuhkan jalan dan akan mengapung dan "terhanyut" ke seluruh dunia akibat pergerakan arus laut.

Desain dari Daun ini di memuat 3 marina dan 3 gunung yang dikhusukan bagi bisnis dan hiburan. Kota ini unik, karena kota ini merupakan kota amfibi, setengah kota air, setengah lagi kota darat.

Kota ini mendapat sumber daya dari matahari, angin dan arus laut, yang akan memproduksi lebih banyak energi daripada energi yang dikonsumsinya, dan akan menjadi kota yang ber-"emisi nol" karena semua karbon dan limbah akan di daur ulang.

Harapan yang ada adalah pada tahun 2100, akan ada 250 juta orang yang melarikan diri dari perubahan cuaca, yang disebut "Climactic refugee", karena air laut akan menghancurkan kota2 seperti New York, Shanghai dan Bombai.

Vincent percaya, bahwa produknya ini adalah solusi jangka panjang untuk menghadapi naiknya air laut, dan bukannya memperkuat garis pantai, karena solusi garis pantai ini hanyalah solusi jangka pendek

Desain dari Daun ini diinspirasikan oleh daun Amazonia Victoria Regia yang memiliki tulang daun yang sangat rapat.

Tujuan Vincent adalah untuk menciptakan "hubungan harmonis antara manusia dan alam".

Beware! Thieves Syndicate in Plaza Senayan

Dear All,

Just beware.
Subject: Beware of thieves syndicate in Senayan



Dear all,

This happened to Mrs Rebecca Lim, wife of Mr

Alexius Chua (officer of Singapore Embassy).
She is sharing her story so that we can be
more careful.

My bag almost got stolen today while I was
having tea with a friend in Cream & Fudge
Factory in Senayan City (yes, right in the
middle
of the basement with a lot of people and security
all around). It's a group of thieves from a
syndicate based in Pasar Senen

(surprise,surprise). Fifteen minutes after

this happened to me, they hit another woman
sitting in Coffee Bean just across. But she
was not so lucky. They got her bag.

These thieves are very fast and organised.

They obviously chose to hit ladies who are
sitting in cafes, cos we tend to be more
relaxed and less alert, and to leave our bags
on the chairs/seat. They use middle-aged women

(not particularly well-dressed but not shabby either) to do the job, and they have guys
> waiting
around, so the women will
> pass the bag to the guys after they take it

> and make their getaway.
>
> This is what happened: My friend and I were
> both absorbed in our own stuff; I had
my bag
> open on the seat next to me (yes, my own
> fault). The first woman came up to us and ask
> for the time (but very rudely). My friend
> ignored her but I felt bad so I answered. That

> was 3:45 pm.
>
> My friend later told me while I was looking at
> my watch the woman was looking at our stuff.
> Without even bothering to say thank you, she

> walked off and sat down at a table diagonally
> across from us, and she faced my direction and
>
kept staring at me. At that point I felt it
> was really odd cos she didn't order any food

> or drinks. Of course on hindsight she was the
> scout sent to identify the target (i.e. me)
> and gave the signal to
her team by talking to
> me and facing me when she sat down.
>
> Barely a few minutes after that, I saw out of
> the corner of my eye, my bag being moved from

> the seat next to me. I jumped up, turned
> around and saw a woman seated behind me,
> reaching her hand into my bag. I then shouted
> at her and asked: "Why is your hand in my

> bag?" At that point she panicked cos everyone
> was looking. I grabbed my bag and checked
> that everything was
still intact. She tried to
> get out of it by saying, "No, no I didn't

> touch your bag, maybe the chair moved it."
>
> There was no table behind me. The closest
> table was diagonally behind me, so this woman
>
had pulled her chair a long way to sit right
> behind me. At this point, I saw a third woman
> standing nearby, obviously another accomplice.
> She took out her mobile phone and started

> calling(obviously to ask for instructions or
> to alert someone the job was
> botched).
>
> I asked my friend to observe if they are going

> to buy anything. They pretended to order some
> drinks from the cashier. I then decided to
> alert
the staff and security. The minute I
> stood up and started walking to the counter,

> they ran. The staff told me there was also a
> guy with them. One of the male staff gave
> chase and security was called. I gave the
>
description of the 3 women to security.
>
> At about 4:05, while I was still speaking with
> the security, I saw a woman walking out from
> Coffee Bean, which was just a few feet away

> from where I was, looking very lost and upset.
> I heard her say "my bag is lost." So I went up
> to her and ask her what happened. It was the
> same syndicate and they used the same ruse

> (i.e. asking her for the time to
> distract her).
>
>
Similarly, it was a middle-aged woman who
> approached her. And a guy was standing nearby.

> Based on our descriptions and with the staff
> from Cream and Fudge and Coffee Bean helping
> to look, the security caught the woman who
>
stole the bag from Coffee Bean and the one who
> tried to steal mine, just as they were about
> to board a taxi. The other accomplices were
> not caught.

>
> So then this is the best part of the story. We
> went to the security office. The thieves were
> questioned and beaten right in front of me and
> the lady who lost her bag. The woman who tried

> to steal from me even tried to threaten me
> when I identified her. I
spent two hours there
> writing a long statement etc. cos without my
> collaboration, the lady who lost her bag

> didn't have much of a case. Guess what? The
> case never went to the police. The thieves
> caved and said they would return the
stolen
> bag. I was hopping mad of course. Yes, they
> have to return the bag, but why should they
> get away?
>
> So here's the explanation: If we went to the

> police, the gangsters would show up and pay
> off the police to release the two women (who
> were after all just the sacrificial lambs used
> to do the dirty job and risk getting caught).

> If they are really bad gangsters, then they
> would
also pay the police to release my info
> and the victim's info, and then they
> would come and threaten us.

>
> So according to this so-called reasoning: if
> the thieves return the bag, at least the lady
> got her stuff back. So we should let it
go.
> And no harm would come to anyone, including
> the security guys who caught the thieves.
>
> NO HARM??!!
>
> If we go to the police, we would waste a lot

> of time, and money, and the bag will never
> come back.
>
> Brilliant, isn't it?
>
> SO that's why I am writing this note, and some

> of you already got my sms. After I sent out
> the sms, two friends replied that
this
> happened to them in Plaza Senayan.
>
> When I left the security office, one of the

> thieves had gone off to get the bag for the
> victim. I hope she got her bag back. But what
> it means is this gang is free to do it
> again...maybe
to one of you. And again, and
> again, cos they know for sure nothing is going
> to happen to any of them, even if they get
> caught.
>
> So tell this story to all your friends and

> warn them about this bunch of thugs. It is
> WRONG WRONG WRONG that they should be allowed
> to get away and do it again. But in a place
> where the law and system doesn't work and is

> not going to protect innocent
people, we can
> only protect ourselves and one another.
>
> If anyone knows where to buy mace, please tell
> me. The next time someone tried to steal from

> me or attack me or my kids, I will mace them,
> and use this trick I learnt in my teens:
> always
carry your keys
> in your hand, place the longest key in between
> your index and middle finger, sticking
> upwards. If anyone attacks you, stick it right
> into his/her eyeball. If it's a guy, knee his

> groin and then run and yell
> for help.
>
> I am SO NOT going to be a victim. And neither
> should you.
>
> Best Wishes,

> Amelia

Computer, Maskulin or Feminine?

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike

English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" is feminine - "la maison"

"Pencil" is masculine - "le crayon".

A student asked "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two

groups: male and female. And asked them to decide for themselves whether

"computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was

asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the

feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is

incomprehensible to everyone else

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible

later review

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half

your salary on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

masculine ("le computer"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE

the problem, and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have got a better model